оп one occasion fully dressed. I was about 11 at the time and then the trouble started for, my parents were quite frankly horrified and although I was not punished my father warned me of the horrors of homosexuality. He told me that if I carried on in that vein I would be sure to end up in gaol. They also said that they felt that I should go to a psychologist to see if he could help me: this pro8- pect filled me with terror and I begged them not to send me to one and they agreed provided I didn't do it again. It perhaps would have been a good idea had my parents carried out this intention for if I had gone to a payohologist then the problem might have been solved, and I might no longer be a T.V. However that was not to be.

At school I soon discovered where the theatrical cupboard was, a deserted room in the basement, and I used to go down there, from time to time to borrow some of the costumes and array myself. I remember on one occasion I took a pair of silver slippers and went into the countryside which surrounded the school, put them on and walked around. I also acquired some red water color paint with which I painted my lips. I feel I should add at this point that al- though the school regularly put on a theatrical show where of nec- •ssity the girl's parts were filled by boys I was never chosen to fill such a part-because to all appearances I was all boy, though I always envied those who had been chosen.

As time passed I left my primary school and went to secondary school, and although I still retained my desire to dress up the life was very communal so it was more or less impossible to have any pieces of feminine finery without being found out. I did, however, continue to dress up during the holidays at home, and I did, however, to my great delight, find I was more or less the same size as my mother so I borrowed her clothes and shoes whenever I could though the opportunities were few. About this time I realized that homo- sexuality was not going to be my problem as I developed a healthy interest in girls and pinups and all the other things that adoles- cent boys do. This interest was mostly theoretical as I was at an all boy's secondary school and parties at home were few and far be- tween because England in 1947 and 1948 was in the depths of the post- war austerity and everything was rationed from potatoes to clothes, and parties were consequently out. Again, the absence of girls at a time when I was beginning to be interested in them caused me to be exceedingly shy with them and may well have caused the seeds of TV- ism to germinate and take firm root.

49.